Be Kind and You Will Always Be Right
By: Paige Japinga
How great does it feel to hear these three little words: “You are right!”?
A lot of my time and energy can go into being right. And yet, when I pride myself on always having the correct answer, I can lose sight of the importance of creating connection, empathy, and kindness with another human being.
In short, being right is awesome. But here’s the problem I’ve run into: If I am right, then you’re wrong.
This past summer, I was walking my Bernese Mountain dogs with my neighbor, Joan, and her dog, Barney. Barney was off-leash and noticed another dog being walked on a leash by his owner. He immediately ran over to them. This did not go well. The woman walking her leashed dog thought it was inappropriate for Barney to be off-leash.
A heated debate between Joan and the other woman ensued. Each was convinced the other was wrong and she was right and didn’t take time to understand the other person’s perspective.
Days later, I saw the woman again and I waved hello. I could tell she was surprised that I was so friendly to her after the altercation with Joan. As we chatted, she explained that she had been recently attacked by a dog that looked very similar to Barney. She also expressed how unwelcomed she felt in our neighborhood due to Joan’s reaction. I learned quickly that she had just moved to the area and that argument had been one of her first interactions with her neighbors. Great …
Choose being kind over being right quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Why not get curious instead of furious?
Observing that situation made me realize how isolating and polarizing “being right” can be. The dog leash incident showed me how quickly being right separates us and emphasizes our differences. Because I remained curious, rather than taking aside, I was able to remain open to the new woman and I came to understand her fear of unleashed dogs.
Too often, I am so consumed with explaining my side of things that I forget to even consider the life experience of a person with an opposing point of view. It was humbling to realize how much time I’ve wasted because I needed to be right. I know I’ve missed many opportunities to make real connections with other people because I’ve been consumed with defending my point of view —which is limited at best!
Curiosity is key! It turns out that cultivating a habit of curiosity is an incredibly healthy and rewarding practice. According to an article on Chopra.com, research shows that curious people have an “ongoing, intrinsic interest in both their inner experience and the world around them … curious people tend to be attracted to new people, new things, and new experiences.”
Curiosity also means softening my mind and allowing my heart to lead the way. Then, I can use my newfound knowledge and experience responsibly for the common good — not just for my personal gain. In other words, I can be kind.
Choose being kind over being right quote by Dr. Wayne Dyer
Being kind allows me to see the world from a broader viewpoint. This creates empathy and provides me with an opportunity to learn and grow. Kindness doesn’t take sides. And kindness doesn’t need to be right. And, most important, kindness provides others with an opportunity to be acknowledged, heard, and seen — plus kindness is contagious!
Okay, I know what you’re thinking, “Sometimes I really am RIGHT!” I hear you. Yes, you may be right about being right. The amazing thing is this: Being right and being kind don’t have to be mutually exclusive, because, at the end of the day, no matter the situation, being kind is always “right.”